by Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director of BRRC

In June, I had the opportunity to attend the World Anti-Bullying Forum in Norway – my second time joining experts from around the globe who are dedicated to one shared mission: understanding and preventing bullying. Among the many powerful insights, one topic has stayed with me ever since: Mattering. The more I reflected on it, the more I realized just how deeply our need to matter shapes our well-being, our confidence, and the way we move through the world.

What Is Mattering?

Mattering is a universal human need. At its core, it’s the belief that who we are is valued and that we have the ability to add value to the world around us—our families, friends, colleagues, and communities. Psychologists often describe mattering through five key dimensions:

• Importance – feeling that others truly care about our well-being
• Attention – feeling noticed and seen
• Being missed – knowing our absence is felt
• Ego extension – experiencing others taking pride in our successes or feeling disappointment in our setbacks
• Dependence – believing others rely on us for support or care

When these elements are present, our self-concept – the way we understand and perceive ourselves strengthens. When they are absent, self-doubt, anxiety, and loneliness can grow.

Mattering and Mental Health

A strong sense of mattering is a protective factor for mental health. Young people who feel they matter experience lower levels of depression and social anxiety, and they tend to navigate challenges with greater resilience. On the other hand, when youth feel they don’t matter (a state called anti-mattering), they often describe feeling invisible, insignificant, or uncared for.

“People who matter are most aware that everyone else does too.” — Malcolm Forbes