Written by Dru Ahlborg, Bullying Recovery Resource Center

Bullying does not happen in isolation. Every act of bullying involves more than the person who bullies and the target who is harmed –  there are also those who witness it. These witnesses, or bystanders, play a crucial role in how the situation unfolds. Their actions (or inaction) can either fuel the bullying or help stop it.

Why Bystanders Matter

Children who bully often seek attention or approval. When no one speaks up, it can seem like everyone agrees –  a concept called pluralistic ignorance. But studies show that when even one person steps in or offers support, bullying often stops within seconds.

Becoming an Upstander

At BRRC, we call those who speak up and take action Upstanders. An Upstander is someone who recognizes when something is wrong and acts to make it right. They don’t wait for someone else to step in. They choose compassion and courage.

Being an Upstander doesn’t always mean confronting the bully directly. It can mean:

• Comforting the target or inviting them to join in.
• Refusing to laugh or participate.
• Getting help from a trusted adult.
• Modeling kindness and respect every day.

Helping Children Find Their Voice

Caregivers and educators can help children build the confidence to speak up by:

• Modeling assertiveness and showing calm, respectful ways to respond.
• Practicing “what if” scenarios to prepare them for real-life situations.
• Creating safety and trust so kids know they can report bullying and be supported.

One Voice Can Change Everything

When bystanders become Upstanders, they shift the culture around bullying. A single kind act or a quiet “That’s not okay” can make all the difference to a child who feels alone.

This Bullying Prevention Month, let’s remind our children, and ourselves, that we each have the power to make a difference.

BRRC’s Mission in Action

At Bullying Recovery Resource Center, we help families recover and rebuild after bullying. Together, we can create communities where every child feels seen, supported, and safe.

“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.” – Albert Einstein