by bullyingrrAdm | Jul 27, 2026 | BLOG
by Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director of BRRC
As backpacks are packed, schedules are finalized, and excitement for a new school year begins to build, most parents and their children are thinking about teachers, supplies, and transportation.
Few are thinking about bullying. The truth is, the beginning of the school year is one of the best times to learn how your child’s school approaches bullying before your family ever needs that information.
One simple way to evaluate a school’s commitment is to look for what educator and bullying expert Barbara Coloroso describes as the Three P’s: Policies, Procedures, and Programs. Together, these three elements create the foundation for a school culture where students feel safe, supported, and respected.
Policies: More Than Words on Paper
Every school should have an anti-bullying policy, but not all policies are equally effective.
A meaningful policy clearly defines bullying, explains the different forms it can take including cyberbullying, and outlines the school’s commitment to protecting students. More importantly, it should be understood by everyone in the building, from administrators and teachers to office staff, bus drivers, and custodians.
Strong policies also encourage students and adults to speak up, making it clear that everyone has a role in creating a safe school environment.
Procedures: Turning Policy Into Action
A policy is only as effective as the procedures behind it.
When bullying is reported, families deserve to know what happens next. Effective procedures start with a detailed method of how bullying incidents should be reported. Is there a form or is it by email? In what time frame will the school follow up on the report? How will the report be investigated? How will the targeted student be protected? How will parents be informed? What steps will be taken to prevent the bullying from continuing?
Effective procedures don’t rely on a one-size-fits-all response. Instead, they hold students accountable while also focusing on repairing harm, restoring relationships when appropriate, and ensuring the targeted student feels safe returning to school.
Most importantly, schools should have a clear follow-up plan. Bullying isn’t resolved simply because the initial incident has ended.
Programs: Creating a Culture Where Bullying Doesn’t Thrive
The most successful schools don’t wait until bullying happens.
They intentionally build a culture of kindness, empathy, inclusion and belonging throughout the school year.
Whether through classroom discussions, literature, character education, peer mentoring, buddy programs, or opportunities to practice being an upstander, students learn that everyone plays a role in creating a respectful community.
Training for school staff is equally important. Every adult should understand what bullying looks like, how to respond appropriately, and how families can report concerns.
Questions Worth Asking
As your child heads back to school, consider asking a few simple questions:
- How does your school define bullying?
- How do students and parents report bullying?
- How quickly does the school respond?
- What supports are available for students who have been targeted?
- What prevention programs are offered throughout the year?
- How are staff members trained to recognize and respond to bullying?
And perhaps the most revealing question of all:
“Does bullying happen at your school?”
If the answer is “No,” it may be worth asking a few follow-up questions.
Bullying can happen in every school. What matters isn’t whether it occurs but how quickly, consistently, and compassionately the school responds when it does.
Schools with strong policies, thoughtful procedures, and meaningful programs are better equipped to stop bullying, support targeted students, and foster environments where every child has the opportunity to learn and thrive.
As a parent, you don’t have to wait until there’s a problem to start the conversation. Asking these questions now can help you better understand your school’s commitment to student safety and ensure your child begins the year with the support they deserve.
If your child experiences bullying and you’re unsure what to do next, Bullying Recovery Resource Center is here to help. We provide education, advocacy, and resources to help families navigate bullying and work toward lasting solutions.
Together, we can help every child start the school year feeling safe, supported, and ready to learn.
by bullyingrrAdm | Jun 11, 2026 | BLOG
Listening to Your Bullied Child: Why Feeling Heard Matters
By Dru Ahlborg – Executive Director BRRC
When a child tells an adult they are being bullied, they are doing something incredibly vulnerable. For many children, speaking up happens only after weeks or even months of emotional pain, fear, shame, or isolation.
According to StopBullying.gov, one in five students report being bullied each year between the ages of 12 and 18. Yet many young people never tell an adult at all. Research continues to show that children often stay silent because they fear retaliation, embarrassment, not being believed, or adults making the situation worse.
That is why listening matters so deeply.
For a child experiencing bullying, one caring adult who responds with calmness, empathy, and support can make a tremendous difference. Feeling heard and emotionally safe helps children regain a sense of connection and stability during an experience that often leaves them feeling powerless.
Children Need Connection Before Solutions
As adults, our instinct is often to immediately fix the problem. We may feel anger, panic, frustration, or urgency when we hear our child has been hurt. While these feelings are understandable, children first need emotional connection before they are ready to problem-solve.
Listening is not passive. It is one of the most powerful ways we communicate safety and support.
When a child talks about bullying, try to:
- Put away distractions like phones or computers
- Maintain calm body language and tone
- Listen without interrupting
- Avoid rushing to conclusions
- Ask open-ended questions
- Validate emotions instead of minimizing them
Simple responses such as:
- “I’m really glad you told me.”
- “That sounds incredibly painful.”
- “You don’t deserve to be treated that way.”
- “We will work through this together.”
- “You did nothing to deserve this.”
can help a child feel believed, supported, and less alone.
Many Children Show Signs Before They Use Words
Not every child will directly say, “I’m being bullied.”
Sometimes children communicate distress through changes in behavior, mood, sleep, appetite, school avoidance, anxiety, irritability, headaches, stomachaches, declining grades, or withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed.
Children who are bullied often carry tremendous emotional weight silently. Some may worry about disappointing adults. Others fear being labeled a “tattletale” or believe nothing will change.
This is why consistent emotional check-ins matter even when children seem “fine.”
Creating regular opportunities for conversation helps children learn that home is a safe place to bring difficult emotions and experiences.
How Adults Respond Shapes What Happens Next
A child who feels dismissed, blamed, or overwhelmed by an adult’s reaction may shut down emotionally and become less likely to seek support in the future.
At a time when youth mental health concerns continue to rise, children need emotionally safe adults more than ever. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported in 2023 that nearly 40% of high school students experienced persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. The CDC also emphasizes that supportive relationships with trusted adults can serve as a critical protective factor for youth mental health.
Supportive responses include:
- Remaining calm
- Thanking the child for trusting you
- Expressing empathy
- Collaborating on next steps together
- Continuing to check in over time
Children do not need adults to have every answer immediately. They need to know they will not carry the burden alone.
Listening Builds Resilience
Bullying can deeply impact a child’s emotional well-being, self-worth, and sense of safety. Supportive adult relationships are one of the strongest protective factors for recovery.
When children feel heard, validated, and supported, they are more likely to regain confidence, develop healthy coping skills, and move forward from painful experiences.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can say to a child is: “I believe you. I’m here. We’ll face this together.”
“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” – Jimi Hendrix
by bullyingrrAdm | Jun 11, 2026 | BLOG
Why Children with Autism Are More Often Targeted by Bullying – And What Adults Can Do About It
By Dru Ahlborg – Executive Director BRRC
For many families, school should be a place of learning, friendship, and growth. Yet for too many children diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), school can also be a place where they are more likely to be targeted by bullying, exclusion, and social isolation.
Research consistently shows that children with ASD experience bullying at significantly higher rates than their neurotypical peers. At BRRC, over 25% of the families we have assisted have a child that has been diagnosed with ASD. In one nationally representative U.S. study, nearly half of adolescents with ASD reported being bullied during the previous school year. Other studies suggest the numbers may be even higher depending on age group and school setting.
Why does this happen?
Children with ASD often navigate the social world differently. They may interpret facial expressions, tone of voice, sarcasm, or social dynamics in ways that differ from their peers. Some children may have focused interests, communication differences, sensory sensitivities, or behaviors that make them stand out in environments where fitting in is often highly valued. Unfortunately, children who appear different are sometimes targeted by those seeking power, control, or social status.
Another important factor is friendship. Peer connection is one of the strongest protective factors against bullying. Yet many autistic children report difficulty forming or maintaining friendships, leaving them more vulnerable to exclusion or repeated mistreatment.
It is also important to recognize that some children with ASD may not immediately recognize when bullying is happening. Teasing, manipulation, or relational aggression can be subtle and confusing. A child may know something feels wrong but struggle to explain it clearly to adults.
The solution is not to ask autistic children to “blend in” or become someone they are not. The solution is to create environments where differences are understood, respected, and protected.
Adults play a critical role.
Parents, caregivers, educators, and providers can help by teaching empathy, modeling inclusion, and responding quickly when bullying behavior appears. Schools can strengthen supervision, create safe reporting systems, educate peers about neurodiversity, and ensure that inclusion means belonging and not simply placement in a classroom.
Caregivers can also watch for signs that a child may be experiencing bullying, including school avoidance, anxiety, sudden emotional distress, lost belongings, changes in mood, or reluctance to talk about peers.
Most importantly, children with ASD need adults who believe them, support them, and advocate for them. Every child deserves to feel safe, valued, and connected.
At Bullying Recovery Resource Center, we know that healing begins when children and families are seen, heard, and supported. By increasing awareness around the bullying risks autistic children face, we can move from misunderstanding to compassion and from harm to hope.
by bullyingrrAdm | May 7, 2026 | BLOG
By Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director BRRC
Bullying continues to impact millions of children each year and the reality that it’s evolving faster than many families can keep up.
Recent data shows that about 1 in 5 students report being bullied, and studies indicate that nearly half of those students fear it will happen again. Even more concerning, cyberbullying and social exclusion have made bullying harder to detect and often more emotionally damaging.
At the Bullying Recovery Resource Center (BRRC), we continue to hear from an increasing number of parents and caregivers here in Colorado and across the country who are searching for answers, support, and hope. One truth remains clear:
Bullying is not about something being “wrong” with the child who is targeted. It is about a harmful choice made by the aggressor.
Who Is Most Likely to Be Targeted?
While any child can be bullied, research continues to show that certain groups of children are more likely to be targeted. Understanding this helps us better protect and support them.
Children who stand out for positive reasons
Kids who are successful, intelligent, creative, or determined are often targeted because they trigger insecurity or jealousy in others.
Children who are more vulnerable or anxious
Youth who are introverted, sensitive, or experiencing stress or depression may be perceived as less likely to defend themselves thus making them targets.
Children who feel isolated
Children with fewer social connections are at greater risk. Research consistently shows that having even one trusted friend can significantly reduce the likelihood of being bullied.
Popular or socially influential youth
Bullying isn’t always about weakness – sometimes it’s about power. Popular students may experience relational bullying like rumors, exclusion, or reputation damage.
Children with noticeable physical differences
Any unique physical trait like height, weight, clothing, or appearance can become a focus for bullying behavior, especially in environments lacking strong adult intervention.
Children with disabilities or medical conditions
Youth with ADHD, autism, learning differences, or medical needs are disproportionately targeted. Inclusive school cultures play a critical role in protecting these children.
LGBTQ+ youth
Data continues to show that LGBTQ+ students experience significantly higher rates of bullying and harassment. Safe, supportive environments are essential.
Children from diverse racial, cultural, or religious backgrounds
Bias-based bullying remains a serious concern and often stems from misunderstanding, stereotypes, or lack of exposure.
Let’s Be Clear: It Is Never the Child’s Fault
Children who are targeted are often told directly or indirectly to change something about themselves. This message is not only wrong – it’s harmful.
No child should ever feel they must change who they are to avoid being bullied.
The responsibility always lies with the child who is choosing to bully and with the adults responsible for addressing it.
Common Myths That Harm Children
Misinformation about bullying can deepen the damage. Let’s address some of the most persistent myths:
“Bullying is just part of growing up.”
It’s not. Bullying is a preventable behavior that causes real harm.
“It makes kids tougher.”
Research shows the opposite. Bullying is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and decreased self-worth.
“Some kids are just born bullies.”
Bullying is learned behavior and it can be unlearned with the right intervention.
“Some kids bring it on themselves.”
No one deserves to be bullied. Ever.
“Telling an adult makes it worse.”
In reality, involving the right adults is one of the most effective ways to stop bullying and many children still stay silent out of fear.
“You’ll always be able to see it.”
Today’s bullying is often subtle: social exclusion, rumor-spreading, online harassment. It can be invisible to adults.
“Ignoring it will make it stop.”
Ignoring bullying often allows it to escalate. Silence can feel like permission to the aggressor.
What Children Need Most From Us
Bullying can leave lasting emotional scars, affecting a child’s sense of safety, identity, and belonging.
That’s why our role as adults is so critical.
We must:
- Listen without judgment
- Take concerns seriously
- Advocate where bullying occurs
- Model empathy and respect
- Act consistently and decisively
At BRRC, we believe that recovery is possible and it begins with being heard, supported, and protected.
Now more than ever, our children need us to step in and not step back.
by bullyingrrAdm | Mar 19, 2026 | BLOG
by Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director of BRRC
In June, I had the opportunity to attend the World Anti-Bullying Forum in Norway – my second time joining experts from around the globe who are dedicated to one shared mission: understanding and preventing bullying. Among the many powerful insights, one topic has stayed with me ever since: Mattering. The more I reflected on it, the more I realized just how deeply our need to matter shapes our well-being, our confidence, and the way we move through the world.
What Is Mattering?
Mattering is a universal human need. At its core, it’s the belief that who we are is valued and that we have the ability to add value to the world around us—our families, friends, colleagues, and communities. Psychologists often describe mattering through five key dimensions:
- Importance – feeling that others truly care about our well-being
- Attention – feeling noticed and seen
- Being missed – knowing our absence is felt
- Ego extension – experiencing others taking pride in our successes or feeling disappointment in our setbacks
- Dependence – believing others rely on us for support or care
When these elements are present, our self-concept – the way we understand and perceive ourselves strengthens. When they are absent, self-doubt, anxiety, and loneliness can grow.
Mattering and Mental Health
A strong sense of mattering is a protective factor for mental health. Young people who feel they matter experience lower levels of depression and social anxiety, and they tend to navigate challenges with greater resilience. On the other hand, when youth feel they don’t matter (a state called anti-mattering), they often describe feeling invisible, insignificant, or uncared for.
“People who matter are most aware that everyone else does too.” — Malcolm Forbes
