by bullyingrrAdm | Oct 29, 2025 | BLOG
by Dru Ahlborg, Co-Founder and Executive Director of BRRC
At BRRC, we often hear heartbreaking stories about bullying. While peer-to-peer bullying is painful, one of the most confusing and damaging forms of bullying is when it comes from a trusted adult. Sadly, this happens in schools where the aggressor may be a teacher, coach, counselor, or administrator.
How It Shows Up
Adult bullying is often:
- Rationalized as “discipline” or “motivation”
- Normalized by students who watch it happen
- Ignored by colleagues who stay silent
- Enabled when schools fail to act
The effects are profound. Targets feel shock, shame, and powerlessness. Other students may join in. When families push back, retaliation can come as poor grades, lost opportunities, or more humiliation. Too often, the adult is defended while the child is left even more isolated.
Why It’s So Harmful
We often teach children to “respect adults,” but respect should never mean tolerating abuse. Research is clear: adult bullying damages children’s mental and physical health. It erodes trust, fuels anxiety and depression, and can lead to PTSD or suicidal thoughts. Abuse does not build resilience – it leaves scars.
Steps Parents Can Take
If your child reports bullying by an adult, your calm and steady response matters most:
- Listen and document. Show care, ask questions, and note details.
- Stay calm. Model thoughtful action instead of anger.
- Include your child. Ask their opinion before acting – they’re most at risk for retaliation.
- Address it. Meet with the adult and their supervisor. Use school policies to frame the issue.
- Escalate if needed. Take concerns higher if dismissed. District leaders, school board, or advocacy groups like BRRC.
- Support your child. Explain what to expect and consider counseling.
Breaking the Cycle
Silence enables bullying. If abuse continues despite reporting, removing your child from that classroom or team may be necessary.
Dr. Jennifer Fraser suggests a broader “immunization strategy” that includes educating adults about mental health, assessing well-being regularly, giving children language to express what’s happening, and getting bullies the help they need.
Our Commitment
At BRRC, we believe it is always the responsibility of adults to stop bullying – especially when the aggressor is another adult. If your child has been bullied by an adult and the school has not acted, please reach out to us.
No child should ever be bullied. And when the harm comes from an adult, our children need us most.
“There is zero research that provides evidence that any form of bullying and abuse improves performance, increases health and wellbeing, makes an individual resilient or tough. It’s all a tragic myth.”
—Jennifer Fraser, Ph.D., author of The Bullied Brain
by bullyingrrAdm | Sep 11, 2025 | BLOG
Written by Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director BRRC
When kids have strong, positive friendships, they are better protected from the impacts of bullying. A trusted friend can be a source of comfort, an upstander in tough situations, and a reminder that they are valued and not alone. On the reverse side, children who feel isolated or excluded are at a greater risk of being targeted or of joining in bullying behaviors to gain social standing.
Research consistently shows the protective power of peer connection:
- About 1 in 3 students experiences bullying during their school years, but children who report feeling a strong sense of belonging are significantly less likely to be involved.
- A meta-analysis of Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) programs found that teaching kids how to form healthy relationships led to better social skills, stronger self-esteem, and reductions in both bullying and victimization.
- Studies reveal that positive peer influence, including friends modeling supportive responses to targets of bullying, has a stronger impact on spreading defending behaviors than directives from school rules.
In short: friendships matter. They don’t just bring joy and fun into a child’s life, they also form a vital line of defense against the emotional toll of bullying.
So how can we, as parents and caregivers, help children form and sustain these healthy friendships? The Child Mind Institute offers practical, expert-backed steps to guide us.
8 Tips for Helping Kids Make and Keep Healthy Friendships
(From the Child Mind Institute)
- Create and support a variety of opportunities for socialization. Focus on your child’s interests and encourage activities where they can meet peers with similar interests.
- Create an open and ongoing conversation about healthy relationships. Talk regularly about what matters in a friend.
- Praise good friendship behaviors. When you see your child showing empathy, setting a boundary, or being supportive, name it.
- Model healthy relationships. Let your kids see how you show up for the people in your life.
- Help kids set their own boundaries. Peer pressure starts young. Teaching kids to speak up – and listen when others do – is powerful.
- Practice at home. Playing board games or doing chores together teaches collaboration, communication, and turn-taking.
- Work on problem-solving skills. Conflict is normal. Teach your child to consider others’ perspectives and work toward solutions.
- Be involved, but not too involved. Create opportunities and offer guidance, but give them space to navigate social situations on their own.
By encouraging kindness, empathy, and mutual respect, we give kids the tools to build friendships that not only enrich their lives but also shield them from bullying. Strong, supportive connections are more than companionship – they’re prevention.
by bullyingrrAdm | Aug 18, 2025 | BLOG
Adapted from Addressing and Preventing Classroom Bullying by Barbara Coloroso
When Sarah noticed her 12-year-old son dreading school every morning, she knew something was wrong. After some gentle conversations, he admitted he was being bullied on the playground and felt like no one would listen. Sarah followed a clear plan: she reported the bullying, documented everything, scheduled a meeting with the school, and worked with staff to create a safety plan. Within weeks, the bullying stopped, and her son started regaining his confidence. He was empowered to come up with a plan going forward with his mom.
Bullying often happens when adults at school aren’t watching. This means you, as a parent or caregiver, might be the first to know what’s really going on with your child. You play a critical role in making sure the bullying stops and that your child feels safe and supported.
Reporting bullying can feel overwhelming, but having a clear plan can make all the difference. Here are six steps to take action effectively:
1. Schedule a Meeting:
Request a meeting that includes you, your child, and the appropriate school personnel. This may be a teacher, counselor, assistant principal, or principal. If you meet with a school employee and don’t feel like they are helping your child, request a meeting with a superior of that employee.
2. Bring the Facts
Come prepared with written details:
- Dates, times and locations of incidents
- Names of those involved
- A clear description of what happened
- The impact on your child (emotional, academic, physical)
- Steps your child has already taken to stop the bullying
3. Create a Safety Plan Together
Work collaboratively with your child and the school staff to develop a plan that covers:
- What your child needs to feel safe
- Strategies for responding to future bullying
- Trusted adults your child can go to for immediate help
4. Ask About Accountability
Find out what actions will be taken with the student who bullied and how the school will involve that child’s parents.
5. Set a Follow-up
Agree on a date to review the plan and make adjustments if needed. Stopping bullying is an ongoing process, not a one-time meeting.
6. Advocate if Progress Stalls
If the problem isn’t resolved, make it clear you’ll escalate your concerns:
- Start with the district office
- In cases of severe, racist, or sexual bullying, contact local law enforcement and/or the U.S. Department of Education Office for Civil Rights
Remember You’re Not Alone
Bullying Recovery Resource Center is here to defend bullied children and support families in recovery. If you need guidance, advocacy, or someone to walk you through the process, go to our website and click the “get help” button. Together, we can make sure every child feels safe, respected and supported.
by bullyingrrAdm | Jul 17, 2025 | BLOG
Written by Dru Ahlborg, Bullying Recovery Resource Center
As Pride Month blooms across Colorado, it’s a time not just for celebration but also for reflection. The Trevor Project’s 2024 U.S. Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People shines a critical light on the experiences of LGBTQ+ youth in Colorado—based on responses from 450 young Coloradans aged 13–24. I strongly urge you to read the report to learn more about what our LGBTQ+ youth are facing. These insights remind us that Pride belongs not just on banners and stages, but also in how we protect and uplift young vulnerable members of our community. As vibrant rainbows fill our streets this June, Pride Month reminds us of both joy and journey. While celebration is essential, so too is reflection on tougher realities. According to The Trevor Project’s 2024 survey, Colorado’s LGBTQ+ youth continue to face deeply troubling challenges—statistics that underscore the urgency of our commitment to supporting them.
One of the starkest findings: 26% of LGBTQ+ young people in Colorado were physically threatened or harmed in the last year due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. That means more than one in four youth endured violence purely for being who they are. These harrowing experiences not only threaten physical safety, but also erode trust and wellbeing.
Beyond physical harm, 61% of LGBTQ+ youth in Colorado reported facing discrimination—in school, work, home, or community settings—just within the past year alone. That’s nearly two in three youth navigating prejudice in their daily lives. From microaggressions to overt exclusion, these acts of discrimination chip away at self-esteem, belonging, and safety.
The impact of these hostile experiences is profound. Research consistently shows that exposure to violence and discrimination greatly heightens the risk of mental health struggles, including anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. In Colorado, these statistics are more than numbers—they represent real young lives at risk and real pain that our community must address. As LGBTQ+ advocate and youth mentor Darnell Moore once said, “When we uplift our most marginalized youth, we create a world where everyone has the chance to thrive.”
Yet evidence also shows that affirming environments reverse these risks. In the survey, LGBTQ+ young people in Colorado say where they live is accepting of LGBTQ+ people, including 79% of transgender and nonbinary young people. Here are the top 5 actions that Colorado LGBTQ+ young people have identified to best show support and acceptance:
1. Trusting that I know who I am (92%)
2. Not supporting politicians that advocate for anti-LGBTQ+ legislation (81%)
3. Standing up for me (81%)
4. Respecting my pronouns (63%)
5. Looking up things about LGBTQ+ identities on their own to better understand
As one BRRC parent put it, “Every young person deserves to feel safe being exactly who they are. The difference it makes when someone truly sees them is immeasurable.”
Pride is more than color—it’s courage. By facing these Colorado-specific truths, and by acting with intention, BRRC can help transform Pride from symbolic celebration into concrete support. Let’s ensure that every LGBTQ+ young person in Colorado feels safe, seen, and celebrated.
“When we show up, speak up, and stand up for LGBTQ+ youth, we do more than affirm identities—we save lives.”
– Alphonso David, civil rights lawyer and advocate
by bullyingrrAdm | Jun 17, 2025 | BLOG
Written by Dru Ahlborg, Bullying Recovery Resource Center
This month I am going to suggest the solution before describing the problem because it’s that important. Intervention and support for children impacted by bullying is the BEST way to mitigate the potential devastating mental health impacts of bullying. Parental support and support from the school can literally be life-saving for children dealing with the repercussions of bullying. That is where Bullying Recovery Resource Center can help.
When speaking about the mission and work of BRRC, I have the opportunity to listen to many adults recall the bullying they endured, and/or the bullying their child has encountered. Often, they share that the trauma still reverberates in their life today. Recent research underscores the profound and enduring mental health impacts of bullying, affecting individuals from childhood into late adulthood. These effects manifest in both immediate psychological distress and long-term mental health challenges.
Short-Term Mental Health Impacts
Bullying is never just “kids being kids.” Its emotional toll can be immediate and intense, leaving targets feeling anxious, isolated, and overwhelmed. These short-term mental health impacts often mark the beginning of deeper struggles if left unaddressed. Below are some short-term mental health impacts for bullying targets:
- Emotional Distress: Victims often experience heightened anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep disturbances, and, in severe cases, suicidal thoughts. WebMD
- Academic and Social Consequences: Bullying can lead to decreased academic performance, school avoidance, and social withdrawal. leadingjustice.com
- Cyberbullying Effects: A study by the University of the Sunshine Coast found that 98% of girls aged 14-19 have experienced cyberbullying, leading to significant body dissatisfaction and increased risk of eating disorders.couriermail
Long-Term Mental Health Impacts
The pain of bullying doesn’t always end when the behavior stops. For many targets, the emotional wounds linger, quietly shaping their mental health into adolescence and adulthood. Understanding the long-term impacts is essential for caregivers who want to support healing that lasts a lifetime.
- Adolescent Mental Health: Children bullied at age 11 who developed distrust by age 14 were approximately 3.5 times more likely to face significant mental health issues by age 17. U.S. News+1UCLA Health+1
- Adult Depression: Early-life bullying is associated with a higher prevalence of depression in later life, particularly among women, rural residents, and individuals with lower educational levels. PubMed
- Chronic Bullying Effects: Chronic bullying victimization increases the likelihood of engaging in risky behaviors, such as substance use, and leads to life-disrupting emotional problems in adulthood. PMC+1BioMed Central+1
- Educational and Occupational Outcomes: Individuals involved in bullying during first grade, especially those identified as bully-victims, are less likely to graduate high school on time and more likely to encounter criminal justice involvement in adulthood. PubMed
Protective Factors and Interventions
While the effects of bullying can be profound, they are not irreversible. Supportive relationships and intentional interventions can make a lasting difference in a child’s recovery and well-being.
- Parental Support: Active parental involvement and support can mitigate the immediate mental health effects of bullying, reducing symptoms of anxiety and stress among victims. Lippincott Journals
- Positive School Climate: A supportive and connected school environment is associated with lower rates of bullying and better mental health outcomes, serving as a buffer against the negative impacts of bullying. Lippincott Journals
These insights are a call to action. Every child who has been targeted by bullying deserves to feel safe, seen, and supported—not just in the moment, but for the long journey of healing that may follow. When we come together—at home, in schools, and in our communities—we can create a world where the lasting scars of bullying are met with lasting care, compassion, and hope. At Bullying Recovery Resource Center, we walk alongside families on that journey, offering guidance, resources, and a community that understands.
by bullyingrrAdm | May 28, 2025 | BLOG
On April 1, 2025 Colorado Governor, Jared Polis issued an official proclamation recognizing April as Autism Acceptance Month in Colorado. The proclamation is a powerful step that aims to raise awareness, foster inclusion and celebrate the unique strengths and contributions of individuals on the autism spectrum.
Between 30-40% of the families we have assisted at BRRC since 2017 have a child with ASD. Our organization is incredibly passionate about changing the narrative about autism and promoting understanding and inclusivity of youth diagnosed with ASD.
The article below was written by Melissa Berger of Thriving With Autism addressing the importance of changing our language and our thinking about autism. (Read more about Melissa in the Champion of the Month section.)
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Why is April so important?
April is Autism Acceptance Month, but you might also hear it referred to as Autism Awareness Month. Here’s another example of how words make a difference. The transition from awareness to acceptance represents on of the most significant evolutions in the autism conversation, particularly for families navigating the early years after diagnosis.
Why Awareness Isn’t Enough
For years, autism advocacy focused on awareness – which was important at the time. It helped people recognize signs of autism, understand that it’s a spectrum, and reduce some of the stigma. But awareness often stops at “Autism exists” or “These are the symptoms.” It tends to be about autism from an outsider’s perspective, often framing it as a problem to be solved.
For example:
- Awareness campaigns only rely on statistics (e.g. “1 in 36 children is diagnosed with autism”) but don’t explore what that actually means for those individuals.
- Some organizations still use deficit-based language, talking about autism in terms of what’s “wrong” rather than seeing autistic traits as neutral or even positive.
What Acceptance Looks Like
Acceptance means moving beyond just knowing about autism and embracing and celebrating autistic individuals as they are. This means:
- Respecting autistic voices – Involving autistic individuals in discussions about autism, rather than solely professionals or parents.
- Shifting the narrative from “overcoming” autism to supporting autistic individuals in ways that honor their needs and preferences.
- Understanding that being different doesn’t mean being less – acknowledging that communication, sensory experiences, and social interaction may look different but are still valid and should be honored.
For parents, the journey from awareness to acceptance can be profoundly personal. Many initially enter a state of panic, educating themselves on therapies, interventions, and early signs. However, confidence and sense of calm emerge as they transition into acceptance and realizing:
- Their child doesn’t need to be “fixed.”
- There’s no “right” way to communicate, play or experience the world.
- The best thing they can do is create an environment where their child feels safe, supported, valued, and most of all, loved unconditionally.
Promoting Autism Acceptance
- Listen to autistic voices. Read blogs and books, and follow social media accounts run by autistic individuals to learn from their lived experiences.
- Challenge outdated narratives. If you hear someone talking about “curing” autism or used fear-based language, offer an alternative perspective or viewpoint. Sharing your experience is powerful.
- Advocate for inclusion. Acceptance involves creating school environments, workplaces, and communities that actively support autistic people rather than merely accommodating them as an afterthought.
- Model acceptance in everyday life. If a child stirs in public, let them. If they communicate differently, honor it. If they have sensory needs, support them. You never have to apologize to anyone.
The Bottom Line
Awareness is passive. Acceptance is active. It’s about building a world where autistic individuals are valued, respected, and supported – not just acknowledged.
While April is the month we call attention to Autism Acceptance, I hope everyday is about accepting and embracing the gifts the autistic community brings to everyone.
“It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a child with autism to raise the consciousness of the village.” ~ Coach Elaine Hall
Written by Melissa Berger of Thriving With Autism
