by bullyingrrAdm | May 7, 2026 | BLOG
By Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director BRRC
Bullying continues to impact millions of children each year and the reality that it’s evolving faster than many families can keep up.
Recent data shows that about 1 in 5 students report being bullied, and studies indicate that nearly half of those students fear it will happen again. Even more concerning, cyberbullying and social exclusion have made bullying harder to detect and often more emotionally damaging.
At the Bullying Recovery Resource Center (BRRC), we continue to hear from an increasing number of parents and caregivers here in Colorado and across the country who are searching for answers, support, and hope. One truth remains clear:
Bullying is not about something being “wrong” with the child who is targeted. It is about a harmful choice made by the aggressor.
Who Is Most Likely to Be Targeted?
While any child can be bullied, research continues to show that certain groups of children are more likely to be targeted. Understanding this helps us better protect and support them.
Children who stand out for positive reasons
Kids who are successful, intelligent, creative, or determined are often targeted because they trigger insecurity or jealousy in others.
Children who are more vulnerable or anxious
Youth who are introverted, sensitive, or experiencing stress or depression may be perceived as less likely to defend themselves thus making them targets.
Children who feel isolated
Children with fewer social connections are at greater risk. Research consistently shows that having even one trusted friend can significantly reduce the likelihood of being bullied.
Popular or socially influential youth
Bullying isn’t always about weakness – sometimes it’s about power. Popular students may experience relational bullying like rumors, exclusion, or reputation damage.
Children with noticeable physical differences
Any unique physical trait like height, weight, clothing, or appearance can become a focus for bullying behavior, especially in environments lacking strong adult intervention.
Children with disabilities or medical conditions
Youth with ADHD, autism, learning differences, or medical needs are disproportionately targeted. Inclusive school cultures play a critical role in protecting these children.
LGBTQ+ youth
Data continues to show that LGBTQ+ students experience significantly higher rates of bullying and harassment. Safe, supportive environments are essential.
Children from diverse racial, cultural, or religious backgrounds
Bias-based bullying remains a serious concern and often stems from misunderstanding, stereotypes, or lack of exposure.
Let’s Be Clear: It Is Never the Child’s Fault
Children who are targeted are often told directly or indirectly to change something about themselves. This message is not only wrong – it’s harmful.
No child should ever feel they must change who they are to avoid being bullied.
The responsibility always lies with the child who is choosing to bully and with the adults responsible for addressing it.
Common Myths That Harm Children
Misinformation about bullying can deepen the damage. Let’s address some of the most persistent myths:
“Bullying is just part of growing up.”
It’s not. Bullying is a preventable behavior that causes real harm.
“It makes kids tougher.”
Research shows the opposite. Bullying is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and decreased self-worth.
“Some kids are just born bullies.”
Bullying is learned behavior and it can be unlearned with the right intervention.
“Some kids bring it on themselves.”
No one deserves to be bullied. Ever.
“Telling an adult makes it worse.”
In reality, involving the right adults is one of the most effective ways to stop bullying and many children still stay silent out of fear.
“You’ll always be able to see it.”
Today’s bullying is often subtle: social exclusion, rumor-spreading, online harassment. It can be invisible to adults.
“Ignoring it will make it stop.”
Ignoring bullying often allows it to escalate. Silence can feel like permission to the aggressor.
What Children Need Most From Us
Bullying can leave lasting emotional scars, affecting a child’s sense of safety, identity, and belonging.
That’s why our role as adults is so critical.
We must:
- Listen without judgment
- Take concerns seriously
- Advocate where bullying occurs
- Model empathy and respect
- Act consistently and decisively
At BRRC, we believe that recovery is possible and it begins with being heard, supported, and protected.
Now more than ever, our children need us to step in and not step back.
by bullyingrrAdm | Mar 19, 2026 | BLOG
by Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director of BRRC
In June, I had the opportunity to attend the World Anti-Bullying Forum in Norway – my second time joining experts from around the globe who are dedicated to one shared mission: understanding and preventing bullying. Among the many powerful insights, one topic has stayed with me ever since: Mattering. The more I reflected on it, the more I realized just how deeply our need to matter shapes our well-being, our confidence, and the way we move through the world.
What Is Mattering?
Mattering is a universal human need. At its core, it’s the belief that who we are is valued and that we have the ability to add value to the world around us—our families, friends, colleagues, and communities. Psychologists often describe mattering through five key dimensions:
- Importance – feeling that others truly care about our well-being
- Attention – feeling noticed and seen
- Being missed – knowing our absence is felt
- Ego extension – experiencing others taking pride in our successes or feeling disappointment in our setbacks
- Dependence – believing others rely on us for support or care
When these elements are present, our self-concept – the way we understand and perceive ourselves strengthens. When they are absent, self-doubt, anxiety, and loneliness can grow.
Mattering and Mental Health
A strong sense of mattering is a protective factor for mental health. Young people who feel they matter experience lower levels of depression and social anxiety, and they tend to navigate challenges with greater resilience. On the other hand, when youth feel they don’t matter (a state called anti-mattering), they often describe feeling invisible, insignificant, or uncared for.
“People who matter are most aware that everyone else does too.” — Malcolm Forbes
by bullyingrrAdm | Feb 19, 2026 | BLOG
By Dru Ahlborg, Executive Director BRRC
Friendship is supposed to feel safe. So, when a friend becomes the person causing harm, the confusion and pain can cut especially deep for both the child and the adults who love them.
You may have heard the term “frenemy,” but let’s be clear: true friends are not enemies. While friends may compete or disagree, there is a clear line. When behavior becomes intentional, repeated, and hurtful and continues after being asked to stop that line has been crossed into bullying.
Can a Friend Really Be a Bully?
Yes. According to PACER, “If you are experiencing treatment from a friend that hurts you and you’ve asked them to stop, but it continues, that behavior is no longer friendship – it may be bullying.”
This type of bullying is often relational (or social) bullying, and it can be especially damaging because it comes from someone a child once trusted.
What Is Relational Bullying?
Relational bullying is harder to spot and often happens quietly. It’s about power, control, and social standing and it frequently shows up as:
- Exclusion or shunning
- Gossip or rumors
- Gaslighting
- Public embarrassment
- Withdrawing friendship as punishment
Because this behavior is rooted in broken trust, many targets say it hurts more than physical bullying.
As a parent, I’ve seen this firsthand. Both of my children were bullied by kids who were once close friends – kids who shared meals in our home and played in our backyard. Years later, my son will tell you that friends turning against him was more painful than any physical harm he endured.
How Caregivers Can Support a Child When a Friend Becomes the Bully
Watching this unfold is heartbreaking and it’s also an opportunity to help your child build resilience and healthy boundaries.
Consider these steps:
- Don’t encourage laughing it off. That can unintentionally give permission for the behavior to continue.
- Support an honest conversation. If safe, encourage your child to privately explain how the behavior made them feel. A true friend will listen, apologize, and change.
- Practice assertive responses. Simple statements like, “That’s not okay,” can be empowering.
- Help them walk away from toxic relationships. Friendships should not involve constant criticism, manipulation, or exclusion.
- Create space for feelings. Losing a friend can bring grief, anger, confusion, and sadness. As a parent or caregiver we should listen and validate those feelings.
What Healthy, Bully-Proof Friendships Look Like
Strong friendships share common qualities. Healthy friends:
- Treat each other as equals
- Are honest and trustworthy
- Celebrate one another’s successes
- Stand up for each other (they are upstanders)
- Support other friendships
- Are authentic
- Don’t use peer pressure
A Final Thought
Research shows that children and teens are often bullied by people they know well including friends and friends-of-friends. This makes your role as a caring, trusted adult even more important.
Helping children understand what healthy friendship looks like and reminding them that they deserve respect is a powerful step toward healing and confidence. At BRRC, we believe no child should have to navigate these painful experiences alone.
“Friends don’t always agree – but they don’t deliberately try to hurt you. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness.”
— Parent of a bullied child
by bullyingrrAdm | Jan 8, 2026 | BLOG
By Dru Ahlborg, Bullying Recovery Resource Center
As we reflect on 2025, it’s clear this year has asked a lot of all of us. Families have faced uncertainty, stress, and heartbreak, and for many caregivers supporting a child impacted by bullying, the weight has felt especially heavy. At BRRC, we want you to know we see you and we are deeply honored to walk alongside you through both the challenges and the moments of hope.
Even in a difficult year, meaningful progress is possible. In 2025, we launched Navigating Bullying Together: Parenting for Prevention, equipping caregivers with practical tools, education, and confidence to advocate for their children and help prevent bullying before it escalates. We have hosted the class 13 times and have taught it across the state including in low-income, Spanish-speaking, LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent communities. We also continued to grow our advocacy program, supporting more than 70 new families this year as they navigated complex and often overwhelming bullying situations.
Beyond direct support, we showed up again and again in our community across Colorado. From partner organizations to local events and conversations, each connection helped raise awareness, reduce stigma, and remind families they are not alone. These moments matter, and they add up to real change.
As we close out the year, we are grateful for every family who trusted us, every partner who stood with us, and every supporter who made this work possible. While 2025 brought challenges, it also reaffirmed the power of community, compassion, and collective action. That is what we will carry forward into the year ahead.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” — Theodore Roosevelt
Happy New Year.
by bullyingrrAdm | Dec 9, 2025 | BLOG
By Dru Ahlborg, Bullying Recovery Resource Center
Gratitude is more than a seasonal sentiment – it’s a powerful force for connection, empathy, and emotional well-being. Research shows that practicing gratitude helps build the very qualities that discourage bullying, and at BRRC, we witness this firsthand. As we continue to support targets of bullying and their families, this month we’re pausing to reflect on what we are grateful for within our community.
Our Families
First and foremost, we are grateful for the families we serve. It takes courage for a parent to reach out in a moment of fear or confusion, and even more courage for a target to share their experience. These families continually inspire us with their strength, vulnerability, and determination to seek safety and healing. Their stories ground our mission and remind us that no one should walk this journey alone.
Community Partners
We’re also grateful for the many partners who stand beside us. These community partners include: mental health professionals offering compassionate care, parent organizations seeking greater ways to care for their children and community organizations working together to ensure every child is protected and supported. Collaboration is central to our mission, and these partnerships make meaningful change possible.
Donors, Sponsors, Supporters, Board Members and Volunteers
Our heartfelt gratitude extends to our donors and supporters whose generosity sustains our work and drives our mission. Whether through Colorado Gives Day, the BELONG Gala, the Take a Swing at Bullying Topgolf event, or ongoing contributions, every gift directly impacts the families we serve. We also recognize our dedicated board members and volunteers, who lend their leadership, time, passion and heart to BRRC’s mission in countless ways.
Finally, we are grateful for the moments of progress we see each day. We witness families finding paths forward, schools adopting improved processes, and communities rallying around kindness and accountability. These victories, small or large, strengthen our hope and affirm that change is both real and reachable.
As we move into this season of reflection, we invite you to join us in noticing and celebrating the good around us. Gratitude has the power to bring people closer, strengthen families, and create safer spaces for children. From all of us at BRRC, thank you for being part of this work. We are truly grateful for you.
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” — Melody Beattie
by bullyingrrAdm | Dec 9, 2025 | BLOG
Written by Dru Ahlborg, Bullying Recovery Resource Center
Bullying does not happen in isolation. Every act of bullying involves more than the person who bullies and the target who is harmed – there are also those who witness it. These witnesses, or bystanders, play a crucial role in how the situation unfolds. Their actions (or inaction) can either fuel the bullying or help stop it.
Why Bystanders Matter
Children who bully often seek attention or approval. When no one speaks up, it can seem like everyone agrees – a concept called pluralistic ignorance. But studies show that when even one person steps in or offers support, bullying often stops within seconds.
Becoming an Upstander
At BRRC, we call those who speak up and take action Upstanders. An Upstander is someone who recognizes when something is wrong and acts to make it right. They don’t wait for someone else to step in. They choose compassion and courage.
Being an Upstander doesn’t always mean confronting the bully directly. It can mean:
- Comforting the target or inviting them to join in.
- Refusing to laugh or participate.
- Getting help from a trusted adult.
- Modeling kindness and respect every day.
Helping Children Find Their Voice
Caregivers and educators can help children build the confidence to speak up by:
- Modeling assertiveness and showing calm, respectful ways to respond.
- Practicing “what if” scenarios to prepare them for real-life situations.
- Creating safety and trust so kids know they can report bullying and be supported.
One Voice Can Change Everything
When bystanders become Upstanders, they shift the culture around bullying. A single kind act or a quiet “That’s not okay” can make all the difference to a child who feels alone.
This Bullying Prevention Month, let’s remind our children, and ourselves, that we each have the power to make a difference.
BRRC’s Mission in Action
At Bullying Recovery Resource Center, we help families recover and rebuild after bullying. Together, we can create communities where every child feels seen, supported, and safe.
“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.” – Albert Einstein
